Armed Man Arrested at Trump’s Golf Course, Legs Still at Large

By Ace Parker

CASINO BOOGIE (CBE)— According to a Tuesday report, an armed man was arrested Sunday afternoon at Trump National Golf Course. We still do not know where his legs are—or whether he had legs at all.

It all started when golfers and club members noticed suspicious activity behind the 12th green. Multiple calls were made to the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

“It was crazy, man. I was eyeing the green from about 95 yards out when I saw this armed guy behind the sand trap. Never saw his legs. Made par, though,” club member Kai Lee-Gener told Casino Boogie.

Visiting guest Doris Blatnoyd said, “Well, I was having an Arnold Palmer on the clubhouse porch. Then, from behind the bushes, I saw this guy. Arms, neck, and a head. The bushes were waist-high, but it kind of looked like he was walking.”

Federal agents arrived and arrested the torso-plus-two shortly after receiving word from local police. The Secret Service is still investigating whether the man posed a threat to the president, who is visiting California for the Republican National Committee Sock Hop on Wednesday night.

The Secret Service is keeping a tight lid on the arrest and would not answer questions about whether the armed man had legs.

Deputies identified the top half as belonging to 38-year-old Jeanine John Taele of Downey, who was also under investigation in nearby El Segundo, where he may have left his wallet.

Taele was reportedly taking photos and videos of the grounds and appeared to be monitoring security preparations. How he managed to do all of this without definitive bipedal ability, we may never know. I’d like to imagine the suspect moved around like a Candy Land piece or perhaps a Lego. 

He pleaded not guilty to four charges Tuesday afternoon, including second-degree robbery stemming from a previous incident and three additional charges related to his activities on August 2. A judge set bail at $250,000 and ordered him not to possess weapons, to stay out of the rough at Trump’s golf course, and to remain in California pending further proceedings.

The court documents made available to the public did not answer the question everyone is dying to have answered.

The FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force executed a search of Taele’s residence on Monday but would not disclose details, including whether agents discovered a series of ropes and pulleys Taele may have used to navigate the domicile more easily.

Both the Secret Service and the FBI are assisting with the investigation, and officials say additional charges could be added. It is possible that his legs were accomplices and could be charged at a later date.

Casino Boogie will continue to monitor the situation and update this article as additional information becomes available. Make sure to bookmark the page or subscribe to stay up to date.

Ace Parker

Casino Boogie Entertainment